There’s no denying that I’m an absolute social butterfly; more often than not I’m surrounded by people and if there are groups to visit I can flit back and forth seamlessly keeping up with too many conversations. I have always assigned myself the characteristics of an “extroverted as you could possibly be” person, but as I get older I have also come to really value my alone time. Alone time comes in the form of reading, cooking in my underwear, writing out my gratitude for the world to see, working out, daydreaming alone in the middle of my super comfortable bed.
It wasn’t very long ago that I rebuked the thought of alone time; the last thing I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts, with my self. The very thought horrified me. I honestly think people that are close to me would be shocked at the things that I told myself when no one was around, being around everyone made it easier to drown out the overly critical judgments and lies my ego sang loudly into my heart. My friends were not my friends, they were my escape. I grew up depressed – too soft for the world, too thin-skinned. It was part age and part disease – and depression IS a disease.
Now I covet my time alone; it’s a time of regeneration and replenishing. Now I say no to social functions in favor of sleep, mud masks, and time spent reading the books that always seem to be piling on my dresser. The older I get, the more I seem to fall into a category somewhere between the hard and fast stereotypes of always in and always out (gasp, balance!). Far from shy, I really do draw energy from being around people, but it seems that I draw a different energy from being alone and I no longer find it lonely. I’m a damn good time.
Alone time comes in all different flavors, from singing pantsless to Miranda Lambert with a mud mask on to typing up even more love letters to the world to post here. What does your alone time look like?
This past weekend was, oh you know what it was, the BIG Sunday – let’s just say it wasn’t my favorite game. This What A Wonderful World Wednesday is about a moment. For anyone that doesn’t know, I’m a proud Devil Pup, my father served USMC for 20 years and I also have countless friends and acquaintances in the Armed Forces. I’m sure that everyone has that one thing that gets them in the feels and mine is rooted both active duty and retired military personnel – it always pulls at my heartstrings in a way most other things can’t.
I just came out of the kitchen holding my plate stacked with “noms” when the National Anthem came on and, of course, I stopped right where I was standing out of respect; from there I watched all of my friends listening to Renee Fleming sing; I’m not even sure a simple “sing” would justify her amazing rendition, but I digress. That feeling was indescribably lovely, I was just bursting with pride and love for everyone around me.
I’m always so grateful for my friends and family, but that moment has been stuck in my head since Sunday night and will probably be one of my favorite wallflower moments for a long time to come.
A non-stop weekend launched straight into a non-stop week! For those of you who know me personally, I’ve re-boarded the healthy train; every morning (almost) I get my tush up and in gear quite a bit before the sun shows its gorgeous rays and start working it out. The first week was challenging to say the least, I had to make it through that energy slump, but now I genuinely look forward to working out and I feel energized to take on life. I was talked into going to Zumba for the first time ever last night! I’m used to feeling sore after I work out, but this left me just plum exhausted. At the 30 minute mark I didn’t know if I was going to make it! Well, I stuck it out and right before I went to sleep last night I reflected on where my endurance and health used to be – not in a good place at all – and was overcome with gratitude that I’ve been able to do so much more than I used to. My work out began as a physical transformation, but has become a physical act of gratitude. The ability to move, a God that allows me to move, the clarity it brings, moving meditation, bliss.
In my personal life I’m all about a rockstar gratitude attitude. Not-so-recently a few of my friends and blogs I follow have inspired me to be ingratiated out loud. So here I am stepping up to share my intentional gratitude practice; every Wednesday I want to celebrate what a wonderful world this is with you!
It snowed today. There was so much (for Northern Virginia) and if you know anything about this gal then you know that I hate being cold… well, except when I’m sleeping. So I’ve been trying to find things that I DO appreciate about colder weather and in no particular order: homemade (spiked) hot chocolate, cuddling, hearty homemade soups and stews, patterned tights, curve hugging sweaters, adorable hats, and finally productivity (and hours spent
sleeping rejuvenating) goes up because my social life stalls out a little. Concentrating on the things that come with chilly temperatures makes it easier to stomach the snow.
Speaking of productivity, I’m working on reformatting categories to make my Live Hard Love Hard world that much easier to explore for everyone. It should have minimal effect on your viewing pleasure unless you’re doing through the archives.
Loving You Always,
Good Morning Lovely!
Sometimes it feels like we move from one hurdle to the next and we’re never going to get on level ground. Life has ups and downs and quite frankly shit happens. Your perception and reaction are the only things that you have control over. So take control.
Growth is ceaseless. We move from one end of the spectrum to the other and even as we abolish fears and limiting beliefs along the way all new ones slither in and the process of letting go begins all over again. Fear is a reality. Change is absolutely guaranteed. To avoid or deny these is to avoid or deny vital pieces of the human experience.
I began with this issue of beginning things. I tapped, affirmed, and trudged my way past that hill only to meet another – finishing. Same BS story in a different (spectacularly bad) outfit, “I’m not good enough”.
New hills are fantastic things – signs of growth and metamorphoses. It’s only daunting if that’s the feeling you let it take on; put away the violin and celebrate that you’re moving forward! Be your own cheerleader simply because you conquered and got *ish done! Your problems of today aren’t exactly the same as your problems of yesterday.
Need more? How about another angle?
#firstworldproblems I love it. It’s become one of those things that we just say.
“Spilled my soy latte ALL OVER my desk, saved my phone just in time! #firstworldproblems.
Well, you’re right… those are first world problems. For the love of everything good thank you for acknowledging that. Most of the people I know have never gone hungry much less actually have to go and forage for food. Most of the people I know have never lived without electricity and running water. Most of the people I know can escape their first world problems by watching TV or wading around in the social media pool – which is in itself a first world problem.
Be GRATEFUL for your trials because they are yours for a reason; you are never given more than you can take and the divine knows that you’re a bad ass. Chances are you are far stronger and much more powerful than you are willing to see or admit.
There are certain terms I just don’t like the sound of guilty pleasure for one. Not a fan. There is (should be) no guilt in pleasure and what exactly makes one guilty in pursuing pleasure? For the sake of this post, I’m going to break this down – let’s get literal.
Guiltyadjective (guiltier, guiltiest)
- give sexual enjoyment or satisfaction to
- Committed: Guilty Pleasures (goodcomics.comicbookresources.com)
- The Problem with Self-Satisfaction: Moral Development, Character and Authenticity (jmeqvist.wordpress.com)
- Shame And Our Broken Behaviour (thelifeinsideus.com)
- Stop Associating Pleasure with Shame and Guilt (eagleman6788.wordpress.com)
- “Guilty” Pleasures. (kellytatera.wordpress.com)
- Guilty Pleasures (highdefinitionfantasy.wordpress.com)