Cutting Yourself… Down, Out, and Short

I have learned so much about myself
in the past couple of years. 
My strengths and weaknesses,
my intentions,
deep dark secrets lurking in my subconcious,
unspoken fears…
one of the things that I have learned
coping with being an ex self-mutilator is –
well, I can drop the ex from that title.
I dropped the steel and intentional self-harm,
but I was still in detrimental self-sabotage mode
namely because I hadn’t really dealt with my problems.
At that point I simply just decided
it wasn’t working for me –
moved on.

The more work I do
on myself and with others
I have come to realize
that we all cut ourselves in different ways,
perhaps not as drastic as intentional self-harm,
but still –
we lie to ourselves,
makes excuses for inappropriate and abusive relationships,
stay at “just-for-now” jobs for years,
poke holes in our own dreams and wishes,
tell ourselves we’re not enough – 
things that can be just as detrimental
depending on how you choose to deal (or not deal) with them.

The real pain comes in
when we can identify the tools we’re using
to cut ourselves down, out, and short
and we continue to do the same things.
I’m sure that many of you reading will shake your head,
this is a rather extreme comparison.
I mean, “crazy” people hurt themselves,
but Mr. Einstein once said,

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”

So how are you cutting yourself down, out, and short?

What are you doing to change it?


One thought on “Cutting Yourself… Down, Out, and Short

  1. Pingback: a biting update « Singing over the bones & rising from the ashes

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