The Paradox of Enduring Love and Letting Go of Romantic Absurdism

I would like to preface this by saying I am deeply in love with my Prince Charming. We argue sometimes, he doesn’t always say the right thing, he critiques my driving endlessly, and he cannot cook, but make no mistake about it I am living sweetly in my happily ever after.

This is a post is a paradox:
It is a testament to and protest against
Enduring Love.
It is in praise of those that soldier on
in the name of hope and love
and reminder that love without boundaries is more than just unhealthy,
it can shatter and destroy.

So how do you let go of an image you don’t even realize is ingrained into your psyche? Intellectually we know – a fairytale is just that. I’m not going to get super-analytical here, but I would like to touch on something that has seeped into clarity for me this past year.

Not sure of the picture “enduring love” paints for you.
This has become a paradox for me.
The vision takes two roads;
blind fairytale love,
and worthy of fighting love.

Point blank, real-life enduring love
can save lives,
usher in a forgotten faith,
move mountains.
There are times when you just know,
that the light is right around the corner,
that if you wait out this rough spell
all of the jagged edges will smooth right out.
Enduring love
is miraculous,
shifting,
transcendental.
This is not in protest of that enduring love, this is a warning to watch for the blind fairytale happily ever after malarkey that touts enduring love – without boundaries.

My own relationship has been a testament
to the beauty and strength of persistence.
There were trials and
I rest assured that there will be more,
but I will move forth having my lines
clearly drawn in the sand.
There is a time for compromise,
but deal-breakers are not a bad thing.

Love is worth fighting for a million times over.
Yes, yes, yes, but enduring love without boundaries,
without any kind of concept of
“I can’t go there, this has been going on for too long”
is crushing and self-destructive.
This concept of enduring love that fairytale land details,
albeit to inspire hope, is dangerous.

Ultimately we decide the stories of our lives,
but folding into a false notion of
things will get better,
just hold on one more day,
he’ll change – she’ll change,
can take a devastating toll if you don’t have lines or boundaries.
Boundaries are a form of self-care,
which is a necessity to self-love,
which is pinnacle to any other sort of love.

How long are you going to wander after and fight for your respective damaging relationship? Be it with a person, object, or concept.

It’s not your fault. Fault is a dirty word.
No, it’s a choice.
You choose to put up with things;
you choose whether or not it’s worth it (to you)
with your action and non-action.

This is not to discourage anyone from believing,
this is to bring awareness beyond “red flags”
to when and where your boundaries are,
to whom you ally with –
is it yourself? –
to the places you need to kiss gently goodbye
or push from a 21st story window,
to the people and things you need to push for.

Yes, enduring love is big and beautiful,
but there is love in letting go too
and there is beauty in goodbye.

 

Cinderella - Prince Charming & Cinderella

Cinderella – Prince Charming & Cinderella (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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One thought on “The Paradox of Enduring Love and Letting Go of Romantic Absurdism

  1. Pingback: The Fairytale | What I Wanted to Say…

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