How To Forgive Someone When “That’s Just Who They Are.”

Forgiveness

Forgive them. They know not what they do (Photo credit: -Marlith-)

“I’m sorry.” There is a lot to be said about these two tiny words put in such a sorrowful melodic order. I’m sorry saves relationships, face, pride – sometimes lives. It’s a can be a superficial release or something deeper, something that dams rifts between hearts and abolishes grudges for which reasons have long since been forgotten. It’s easy to know when to say I’m sorry. You hurt someone, purposefully or not, you apologize. Simple enough. It’s even easier to know when you’re the one that’s been wounded by a wrongdoing. You were obviously wronged and thus an apology is owed.

What about the times you feel betrayed, abandoned, enraged, or just plain hurt and it’s no one’s fault? What about the times you let who someone is affect you, how then do you forgive this person/people?

I’d like to say first – this is your problem and not theirs because they’re just traipsing down their path carrying their baggage with little regard or knowledge of how it affects those around them (especially the people they love most). Please pay attention here: they cannot directly affect your being without your permission, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. Grudges are the shackles of the spiritual world and they only hold you back.

All behaviors should be addressed with great compassion and respect because odds are if this is someone who cares about you they don’t know that they’re hurting you. You don’t have to make a sweeping gesture to that person to release them – no entitled, snooty “I forgive you” required.

Sit with yourself and meditate, journal, affirm, whatever your process is to turn your focus inward and make the decision to forgive and release that person (and by extension yourself) for whatever they have done. Gabrielle Bernstein has a wonderful forgiveness visualization meditation (it’s minimum on the woo-woo just in case that’s not your bag) that gently encourages you to remove the metaphorical brick wall between you and the intended recipient of forgiveness.

The next time someone in your life is dragging their baggage all over your ego don’t get let that fester because that’s “just who they are.” Look inward, forgive, release, accept, and love. It is a difficult thing indeed, but try it on for size and watch how it shifts your perception, communication, and relationships as a whole.

Asking For Forgiveness

Asking For Forgiveness (Photo credit: hang_in_there)

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4 thoughts on “How To Forgive Someone When “That’s Just Who They Are.”

  1. Pingback: Forgiveness Q & A – If This Person Could, Then You Can – Part 2 « Obstacle Blaster

  2. Pingback: Robert JR Graham » Forgiveness, Confidence, and Other Spiritual Tools

  3. Pingback: Forgiveness Q & A – If This Person Could, Then You Can – Part 2 | Obstacle Blaster

  4. Pingback: Obstacle Blaster | Forgiveness Q & A – If This Person Could, Then You Can – Part 2 | Obstacle Blaster

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