Check the Expectations, Keep (or Raise) the Standards

Dating in the Dark (US TV series)

Dating in the Dark (US TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is by no means limited to heart matters; I will probably speak more on the subject in the future, but being as I’m focusing on dating this week I will tailor the message to that. The idea is much more wide-swept than romantic pursuits and can be applied to any area of life. chuck your expectations, not your standards.

A Course in Miracles speaks a lot about expectations – how limiting and stagnating they can be to both your growth and your ability to attract miracles. We get attached to what we want, the way we want it, right when we want it and the Universe doesn’t work on your schedule. You need to put that trust out there that he/she/it knows exactly what you need, when you need it, and that it will supply it to restore a perception of lack. What’s so bad about expectations? They allow (encourage) you to attach yourself to certain outcomes, so much so that sometimes you don’t even see the blessings right in front of your face.

What does this mean for your dating life? Let me set it up for you:

You go out on your first date with a guy/gal and you start the requisite interview process “What do you do? What do you like to do in your spare time? Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” and you consult your mental checklist. Gasp, you think to yourself, he/she’s none of the things I wanted in my soulmate. You go through the rest of the date as a courtesy and will most likely not listen to a word they say because all you can think is “OMG this is a waste of time they’re none of the things I’m looking for!” and You leave and even if you do have a good time you don’t call back because you’re disappointed that the bullet points on your list haven’t been touched. Can you see where I’m going with this?

When you ride on expectations you create room for disappointment instead of room for miracles. Maybe you’ll really get on with this person, or maybe not, but are you really going to pass up a chance because they didn’t live up to your expectations? Yet we complain that we can’t find any nice guys or gals. It sounds like you’re the problem so get your act together. Life likes to throw things at you just to shake it up and your job is to be ready to accept and receive.

Expectations are nice just don’t get hung up on them, it’s your standards than need to stand firm. I mean if you’re expecting a Disney prince(ss) to come whisk you away and save you from your humdrum life then you may want to check in to reality and lower your standards a bit, but the standards that you’ve built up for yourself as far as how you should be treated (and how your mate should treat themselves) shouldn’t waiver. NOTE: We’re all different, don’t compare your standards and deal breakers to your friends’ because we are built to handle different things and what works for you won’t for others (and vice versa). Those boundaries are important and your deal breakers exist for a reason; there are just some things that you shouldn’t compromise and you know the difference between the superfluous fluff that you’ve built up in your head to dress up your future mate and your little (or not so little) red flags being thrown up. If you can’t figure it out, trust those little niggling feelings in the pit of your stomach – at least that’s the easiest way for me to note that my intuition issuing me a “Hey, this is not good!” reality bitch slap.


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