I wouldn’t say I was a tomboy growing up, but I would (still) choose a Tonka Truck over a Barbie Doll any day of the week. In fact, one of my parents’ favorite story to tell is when I cried after my cousin gave me a Barbie Doll for Christmas (not tears of joy, sorry PJ!) My friend circles have always consisted of a male majority; I just didn’t get along with other girls – unless they were a girl that made similar complaints of other females. And so for years I thought I was just “one of those girls” that couldn’t/wouldn’t get along with other girls.
Whiny, shallow, impatient, self-indulgent, competitive, naggy! Ugh. Frustrating. A closer look and these were the things I didn’t care for in myself either which doubled my generalized dislike. Why would I want to spend my time around other people that reflected all of the things that irritated me about myself? That just doesn’t make sense.
Today most of my inner-circle has a bit more balance – the male population still maintains a slight majority, but I have A LOT more girlfriends than I used to. Where did this shift happen? I grew up and I realized that it wasn’t females in general that I had an issue with; I had an issue with whiny, shallow impatient, self-indulgent PEOPLE and for some (very sad) reason I linked all of these traits to females. So what I got was a buttload of those girls murking up my ability to attract women that share my beliefs and appreciations. I blame Disney movies and Clueless. I spent so much time trying to repel them that they were shipped right to my front door, in spades.
There are women out there (Hello!) that can gab about philosophy, politics, world religion, birthing dreams, miracles just as easily as they can throw out make-up tips, celebrity crushes, and guilty foodie pleasures. These are the women I want in my life. There is far too much competition in life and we are supposed to uplift one another – ladies, we are the source! Far too much dark and ugly in this world for us not inspire one another to shine WAY out loud!
So if you’re one of “those girls” that doesn’t like other girls – take it from an ex-hater and take a closer look at your beliefs surrounding gender stereotypes.