No matter what you attribute it to. Whether it’s a test from above, a small world scenario, or a thing you never fully dealt with – sometimes things come back ’round. What do you do about it then?
I’ve seen a lot of grief models, broken heart how-to’s, and decimated dream survival guides. Most of them are sorely lacking a key step: detachment. Once you’ve dealt, detach. That’s a post unto itself, but I felt it worth mentioning.
There’s this sort of shame that comes with letting a thing from the past affect you – likely something to do with the same old vulnerability associations with weakness. *I did the work to move on for a year( or two years or longer), I prayed, I worked my ass off, I forgave, I took other opportunities, I accepted, so why do I feel a pull on my heartstrings now?*
It’s maddening, heart-wrenching even. Full circle sucks, but that little niggling sorrow you feel doesn’t put you back to square one.
Own your feelings. Take stock of how you have changed for the better since the whatever-gate occurred. Don’t lose sight of the wonderful Take a moment to fully experience that feeling, whatever it is that you’re feeling. (Really, it’s okay.) Breathe deep. Release. Detach.
Repeat until that heaviness lifts. Repeat until you’re realigned with the divine will for your best-ness in everything. Repeat until it doesn’t sting. Repeat until there’s no shame tied to slipping up. Choose your own life metric system; repeat until you’re back where you need to be on the scale of your choosing.
If a part of you still loves him, still covets that job, still holds onto that dream, still reworks and wonders and what ifs, it doesn’t mean you lose. You know the spiel, it’s all about the journey + accept and love where you are.