Why Granting Grace is Not the Same as Giving *Effs

I’ll keep this short: I would like to issue an official retraction. You see, I confused giving grace with giving *effs.
Maybe it was colored by my mini war on apathy or maybe it’s the shallow context I’d so often seen it used in. Either way, I was wrong and I’m here to admit that.
Granting grace is inherent, but giving *effs is not.
Grace should be given freely, *effs should be given sparingly. Earned.
I’d like to think that people don’t (usually) intentionally hurt other people. Run your own race. I don’t remember where I heard this, maybe a movie. Everyone has their blinders on at one time or another. We often just can’t see how our actions affect those around us and sometimes people are so tired from carrying their emotional detritus that they pour that shit onto someone else.
Showing grace offers a kind of psychic cushion. Extend love, empathy, and acceptance without getting all wrapped up in the BS. Compassion + Detachment. Giving a *eff is an investment – that person or event is taking up psychic real estate.
Investment of time and energy – that’s the difference.

Fixing is in my marrow. I am blessed with a well-developed sense of empathy, but I’m still learning that I don’t have to be personally invested in the pain of everyone I come across.

Where in your life are you busy handing out all of your *effs instead of simply having grace?

Love Always,



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