Why Does “Loyal to a Fault” Really Mean “I am Fiercely Loyal to Everyone but Myself”?

     Victim mentality comes in all shapes and sizes. Handing away your power can range from the dire to the day-to-day mundane. It’s just one of those things people say, “I’m loyal to a fault.” without knowing how much power they are truly giving away each day. Some say it with a smirk as if it’s a sort of badge of honor – isn’t self-sacrifice to be praised. Some say it with not-so-hidden heartbreak as if they weren’t an active participant in the choices that got them where they are – most of the time it is a path we choose.

What does that even mean, “giving away your power”?

     You are literally handing the reigns of your life over to someone else. Accolades for being selfless, but the next time you want to proclaim “I’m loyal to a fault” please take a deep breath and bring the subtext to the surface “I am fiercely loyal to everyone but myself.”

     No one would ever ask you to turn your back on the world. In fact, quite the opposite. You are your best self when you are fiercely loyal to yourself. Does that mean only looking out for yourself at any cost? Hell no – you can do more for others when you are operating at you are FULL. Does that mean sticking to your guns on boundaries, unconditional self-love, and taking your own needs into account? Um, hell yes – you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Ayn Rand Quote

     Life is a series of decisions and they either move your forward on a linear path or on a loop. There is no backwards and there is no standing still. So as with all other things this begins with a decision. The words will be different, the declaration will be different, but it ultimately ends at the same place. Your uplifting, your boundaries established and held, your self-care untouchable, your heart and soul well-fed. Decide today. What promise will you make yourself?

  • I will be fiercely loyal to myself.
  • I will love myself unconditionally.
  • I will honor energy/time/financial boundaries I have set.
  • I will create space for myself to honor my needs.
  • I will show up for myself.

Call it what you will. Affirm it in a way that resonates with you. Just do it.

Because most of us give our power away a little at a time and in the most subtle ways we often don’t see the bigger picture, but I implore you do not wait. Do not wait until you are bankrupt on faith in humankind, until you are in financial debt, until you finally determine the value of your time is not moot. Do not wait.

I hear a lot of people wondering what they, as one person, can do to change the world. I hear even more people asking what one small action will do to change their life. My answer? Ripples. It only takes one stone, even one raindrop, to create ripples. Change has to begin somewhere. Why not you? Why not now? Why not one small, effective action?

Will you choose to be fiercely loyal to yourself today?

Love Always,


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