You are allowed to feel shitty.
You are allowed to feel sad and lonely and hurt and generally just not okay.
Those words shouldn’t be revolutionary. They shouldn’t feel like releasing a breath you didn’t realize you were holding – but they might, at least they do for me.
There are so many articles and books on how to feel better, but rarely do you see anything that says “You are allowed to feel shitty.” That should be the first step in any plan to dig yourself out of a hole. Not just acknowledgement, full embrace.
How do you feel about not feeling okay? Does it make you uncomfortable or vulnerable? Do you minimize it by casting out a tepid “I’m fine…” if someone acknowledges your muddiness? Why is it that we refuse to take an active role in the darker side of our emotional spectrum?
The pretense of perfection and complete balance is literally driving us further and further away from ourselves, each other, and greatness. Everything is masks and comparison of Facebook-happy lives and walls of pseudo-emotional protection. We praise those living in disenchanted malaise and call for the exaltation of mediocrity because it maintains the illusion that we can do and have everything – that life will be easy and uncomplicated if you just hit these ten easy milestones. Meanwhile we judge those that are authentic, off-kilter, extraordinary because their balancing act doesn’t resemble the evenly sliced pie sitting on a suburban sitcom windowsill.
In order to move on, fully live, and do amazing things you have to embrace the suck. You don’t conquer mountains by running around them; you do it by running straight up and over them.
This isn’t an excuse to wallow. No, you don’t want to settle here. This is a call for self-compassion. This is permission to have crappy hours and days; let that feeling come to fruition so we can stop shoving the negativity back inside until we are so full of crappiness we explode or binge or shutdown.
Acknowledge the suck, embrace it, and then use it as a catalyst or muse or lesson. Everything serves a purpose.