If I Should Die Tomorrow…

This is something a little different, a little dark.

Death is the only part of the life cycle that’s often spoken about in hushed tones. Mystified, revered, and feared – we sing about it, we write sonnets, but they are nearly always in the heart of the night spoken in metaphors with its essence only gleaned in the subtext.

But I don’t want hushed tones, aching, and tears at my death.
Instead sing from rooftops that I can finally find peace for my weary bones.
Shout that I lived and loved hard and died once the last ounce of passion left my body.
Tell them I used up everything.
Graffiti the walls with the words I spoke most often and may the lion’s share be the loveliest and most uplifting of things.
If I should die tomorrow, please don’t lay my body down.
Spread my ashes to the world.
Take me on one last trip.
Let me go in the wind.
Scatter me over seeds so that I may be part of the trees and it can be said that I began and ended with roots.
Place me at the center of all elements so that I may live eternity in perfect balance.
I have not lived quietly or apologetically so honor me by wearing red, dancing on a moonlit night in an open field of wildflowers, drinking good whiskey and great red wine, breathing slow in the morning, loving openly and unconditionally, and living your truth out loud every damn day.
Gather annually around a fire with good tunes – not to spend a weekend remembering me, but because I have found presence and connection to be the answer to nearly everything.
If I should die tomorrow, please don’t lay my body down.
May I still fly and swim and grow and burn,
may my words still rally,
may thoughts of me still inspire warmth,
and may my love still heal
long after the last of me is washed away to sea.

Love Always,
Me

Don’t Let Your Beautiful Heart Go To Waste

 GLYHG2W Pic 2
Don’t let your beautiful heart go to waste.
All too often we believe
the strength found in hardships
are the bricks we pick up along the way,
the scarring that’s left.
We use those bricks to build walls
and our scars harden our hearts against
the pain this world will inevitably bring
until we convince ourselves
we will never again feel the utter hopelessness
of being broken by those that love us the most.
Don’t let your love go to waste.
All too often we believe that
the lessons learned of tragedy
are to keep desperate hold of our hearts.
As if our love is but a small flame
that might be snuffed out at anytime.
Desperate that no one should ever hurt us again
we set out traps
and design rigged tests
that would decide
once and for all
the worthiness a person.
Your heart will break,
let it.
“They” are right,
pain is inevitable,
because we have made it the only learning tool worth a damn.
Pain is inevitable
because we carry our bricks and scars
from one relationship to the next
and are hands are so full
and are hearts are so hard
that we leave no room to carry the lessons
with us.
And so we continue on in spirals
with self-victimizing cries of “What went wrong?”
Running from pain only beckons more pain
and the only way out is through.
So push.
Remember, you’ve been here before
and know that the light of the end of the tunnel
IS indeed you.
Your love and light are always replenishing.
Don’t waste your beautiful heart,
your love,
your light,
on the bittersweet of regret,
and sleepless nights analyzing,
and silent, desperate wishes without work.
DLYHG2W Pic 1

Please Get Your Guilty Outta My Pleasure, Thanks.

There are certain terms I just don’t like the sound of guilty pleasure for one. Not a fan. There is (should be) no guilt in pleasure and what exactly makes one guilty in pursuing pleasure? For the sake of this post, I’m going to break this down – let’s get literal.

 As defined by the Oxford Dictionary:
Guilty
adjective (guiltier, guiltiest)
culpable of or responsible for a specified wrongdoing
Pleasure

noun

  • a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoymentshe smiled with pleasure at being praised

[attributive]

  • used or intended for entertainment rather than business

verb

[with object]

give sexual enjoyment or satisfaction to
Happy? Satisfaction? Enjoyment? Hm, pursuing happiness  sure doesn’t sound much like  wrongdoing to me. Perhaps the aversion lies in how guilt can be strongly associated with shame and there is nothing shameful about pleasure. Not a thing.
“Oh, but it’s just something we say.” I can feel the eyes rolling from here, but the more conscious of  definitions and emotional associations I become, the more aware I am of how these affect thoughts and perceptions, and in turn life. Guilt and shame have no place tied to pleasure, it only serves to further perpetuate the lie that pleasure is a naughty thing. I don’t know about you, but I feel some kind of awesome after a bubble bath or indulging in a leisurely brunch. There are enough places for fearful/shameful/guilty thoughts to poison and misdirect – I don’t need it to hide in my bubble bath or my hairbrush performance session of Moulin Rouge‘s  “Elephant Melody”. Seriously.
Explore your relationship with pleasure. Just close your eyes and take a few deep breaths while you sit with the word. How does it feel? Physical sensations? What are the first words that come to mind? This is a relationship worth pursuing. Tell me what you find.

Shovel Out The Bull*ish To Get To The Good *Ish

Warning: Just a bit of rough language, but only a bit.

It’s time gorgeous people to shovel out the bullshit to get to the good shit.

Excuses! You have to love these sneaky little bastards.

Most times the “but, but” stumbles out of our mouths before we even have time to process what’s going on.

Aren’t you tired of handing the reigns over to your limiting beliefs? Your fears?

My sniggling little inner-critic mostly just reminds me “Walk my talk.” and challenges me to “Put my money where my mouth is.” these days.

We’ve made friends… well, mostly. Sometimes she still whispers lies.

But the little monsters that still feed you that “Sacred Lie” are holding you back and down.

I can validate and compliment you until I’m blue in the face,

but you have to begin the work of shoveling out the bullshit to let all that goodness start to stream in.

So do it!

Today, right now, don’t wait any longer.

You owe it to yourself to see who you really are when the “I am not enough” crap is stripped away.

They are placeholders – really crippling and stagnating placeholders.

What wonderous loveliness are you blocking out by holding onto them?

Your dream career? Relationship? Promotion? House?

And do it in your own way,

find tools that resonate with you.

This is not a one-size-fits-all world.

You need different outfits and you need different tools in your self-love arsenal.

(Check the list below for some of my favorites.)

If you need a cheerleader, a friend, A CHAMPION!

I’m here! I believe in and love you deeply.

If you don’t like me, then find someone in your life that can be this for you until you can be this for yourself.

The world needs more light, needs more love today not a week from now.

More good shit and far, far less bullshit.

Happy shoveling!

 

A Shovel Is Waiting For You …!!! / Une pelle v...

A Shovel Is Waiting For You …!!! / Une pelle vous attend…!!! :))) (Photo credit: Denis Collette…!!!)

 

 

 

 

I love to meditate with this chick: Gabby Bernstein

EFT: Gala Darling taught me how!

Seduction as a spiritual practice with this siren.

Asking the right questions with Ms. Courageous and it really is ALL about the questions.

You can wander through my archives for more of personal beliefs, tips, and practices.

Fall in Love With Now

NOW

NOW (Photo credit: mag3737)

 

I cannot begin to calculate the issues that would be solved if we took this simple, albeit challenging, task to heart. Fall in love with the now – the present moment. On a spiritual level, only the infinite truly matters; the past is a memory of what has already happened and the future is an idea of what may happen. Now is the only thing that truly matters or exists. It is infinite, we will go on being in the present forever. Without the woo-woo schtick, the present moment is the only one that is occurring at any given time, the past and future are merely concepts.

 

It’s only natural to think about the future, plan it out, fret a little over future outcomes of today’s decisions. It’s only natural to reflect on the past, miss and wonder about things and people from time to time. Living there, that’s what breeds fear, ruts, anxiety. All sorts of yuck that could surely send the most confident person into panic attacks. One of my favorite analogies is from Gala Darling’s Love & Sequins (totally unsolicited plug, I LOVE this woman’s work). She references a cosmic diner where you place your well-thought out order and you wait… you never worry about whether or not your food is coming and you go on chatting with your guest or checking your email, you may grumble that it’s taking longer than you like, but you KNOW it’s coming. Where is this clarity throughout the rest of our lives? The level of certainty that whatever you asked for or manifested is coming? Breathe, you might even receive an upgrade on your miracle.

 

Full disclosure: I have to pull myself back into the moment all of the time, though much less than I used to. I was a notorious dweller burning both ends of the candle – future-tripping and constantly analyzing what past events meant. Stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, helpless, hopeless. Everything was out of my control or quickly spinning out of my control. Meditation had much to do with bringing me into the present moment and that “a” word I love oh so much, awareness. All of the work I did brought the “why’s” front and center and so many of my neuroses were tamed by this one commitment (and constant recommitment), falling in love with now. Anytime I start to feel all frazzled I take a deep breath and take a step back into my body, into what is going on at this very moment and usually the yuck dissipates fairly quickly. I want to be here now enjoying life as it happens, not living in something that hasn’t even happened yet or something that was quite literally so 30 minutes ago.

 

When life starts getting to be too much, turn your attention to the present moment. I do recommend meditation (which can be sedentary or active) as a beginning to build self-awareness and overall sense of peace. *There are scientific studies to back this up my nonwoo-woo friends.*

 

What about you? Do you analyze the past or are you a future-tripper? What do you do when things start getting out of hand? I’d love to hear from you.