POSTponed: Mini-break to Concentrate on Work Projects

My posts have been a little lacking lately, I know! I’m still around and reading, but I’ve had a crazy and somewhat unrealistic task shoved towards me so my attention has been called for in full.


I will be returning soon as the project will soon be over! I just didn’t want to go m.i.a. again without explanation.


Loving you always,



Just a Note About This Weeks Upcoming Posts: I’ve Got Dating on the Brain!

I am (fairly) recently single. That hiatus I took? Yeah, that was recovery time. It has been very difficult separating from my best friend. We tried again briefly and, well, fell flat. That is a man whom will always have a big ole’ chunk of my heart, but it wasn’t the right time or circumstance.  Moving forward.

That being said, I have a confession to make: I hate dating – or rather going on dates. I find the whole dance to be exhaustive and wasteful if I’m not pre-inclined to date said prospect anyway. I would much rather hang out until we figure out we like-like each other and we’re mutually physically attracted. I normally don’t have an issue because I tend to be very upfront about when it occurs to me that I might be romantically interested, but you see where this can get messy, don’t you? Even so, I prefer it this way. It’s time to venture out and shake things up, change allows for powerful shifts in perception and opens doors. So let’s open up some doors.


In short, I have dating on the brain this week and would like to offer some spiritual observations on casual dating. Please join me in this week-long love-learning journey and perhaps let it spark your need for change.


What have you shaken up lately? Are you stagnant in a place that you could make a change in order to invite a quantum shift?


Searching for Soulful Relationship and Freedom: A Confession, Invitation, and A Spark Rolled Up In One Post

Confession: I’m feeling stuck these days.
A little (lot) imprisoned.
I am the Queen of Silver Linings, a Goddess of Rising Above the Odds – but I want more than that.
Lately, I’ve been feeling seduced by a notion.
Freedom of financial woes, dramatic relationship, iron clad schedules, people pleasing, deadlines.
Just pure, unadulterated freedom.
Freedom to follow the concepts and ideas that pull at my heart-strings, go on impromptu adventures,  join soul sisters for coffee or brunch on a whim, get up and clean when I have the urge to, sleep and eat well and take care of myself and not stop until I’m wholly renewed no matter how much time or expense it takes.
I have this calling, this urge, this pull towards a certain something that’s been lurking and (not-so) silently begging to be explored and created.
Alas, I am in overwhelm with two jobs that have somehow pushed me into a revolving door of soulless work and nights of sleep that never quite quench my exhaustion.
I feel change is on the horizon and I am ready to take a plunge.
I am ready to join the ever-flowing current and let the universe take me where it needs me.
I am ready to give up this way that is no longer serving me.

Cliff diving with JT

Cliff diving with JT (Photo credit: 4ELEVEN Images)

We all come to this time.
Some patterns are easier than others to let go and I hit my breaking point when I cried out from sheer exhaustion.
I have carried this knowing for a while now.
This time in my life has been all about learning to fall in love with who and where I am now and to realize that there are no wrong decisions because I am – and you are – exactly who and where you are meant to be in this moment.
That is the foundation of what I am feeling I am called to bring to the world: to teach and inspire people to reach this realization without the sometimes painful events that lead us to finally grasping this concept that is so simple, but so large.
I want to use concepts and tools that aren’t classically tied to self-love because traditional (mostly) ain’t my schtick. I put a wish into the universe sealed with hope and a kiss to find my soul sisters (and bros!) that I need to move forward now.
Wish me luck and better yet join me on this journey.
We’ve only just begun.


Let that freak flag fly high!


Post-Impromptu Hiatus

It’s only fitting that the last entry before my impromptu hiatus should be “What do you fear?” this has been the center of my journey for the past couple of months.

What am I afraid of?

It’s funny, as aware as I tend to be I still miss things sometimes – there are still things that I don’t readily see about myself.

The stories I don’t understand are the “I woke up one day and I was 400 lbs.” No, you most certainly did not. You had health conditions, McDonald’s, lack of exercise – I’m not even saying it’s your “fault”. However all of the signs and mounting lbs. were there and you blinded yourself from a glaring truth.

Over the past two months I have come to realize that I feel that way because an extra 300 lbs. is not my cross to bear. My “I woke up one day” story goes a little more like this: I woke up one day and realized that I have only been in romantic relationships based on need and furthermore I have pushed away people who have come to my life purely out of want. My significant other needed me, in one way or another, and to be honest I preferred it that way without realizing it.

I want you to know that I realize that these are extreme limiting beliefs and intellectually I am aware of the disconnect from reality, but these are the lies that the terrible black cloud of my ego has whispered in my ear. Let me call myself on my own bs in the most raw terms: it is my limiting belief that I am not enough on my own – I am fearful of a relationship that puts me in a position in which I have nothing to give but *gulp* myself. In my subconscious it’s one thing to have someone say I didn’t do “enough” for them, that what I DID for them fell short of expectation and want; it’s an entirely different animal that requires a level of vulnerability that I have just come to begin cultivating that allows me to be in a relationship based on want because it’s so much more painful to be rejected because “just you” isn’t enough.

You know what I’m going to say, A Course in Miracles teaches that we can learn out of joy or pain… guess how this little A-Ha came about? Many scars, throat grating cries, and breakdowns later.

So what does this mean for me? A certain restructuring. Not only did I take a break from life, but from my relationships (both platonic and romantic) so that I could take a step back and see where I’m doing things out of necessity. I have stepped back from things I thought I never would and I am rediscovering the people and things that bring pleasure to my life. A life without pleasure isn’t being fully experienced at all.

Although I have not completely shut any person or thing out of my life roles are definitely shifting a bit more rapidly than is comfortable for me, but I’m along for the ride. I’ve already gone down the rabbit hole and had my world turned upside down. Now I’m just waiting for the universe and love to lead me home.

These little blurbs – spiritual bitch slaps, faith reminders, core shakers – they don’t come from thin air. I fight the same battles everyday. Awareness is only the first step, but it is quite often the hardest and most easily pushed aside. I implore everyone that reads this to take a good hard look at your patterns and really pull on the root reasons for your behaviors, attractions, habits, whatever.

Light and love,



Elaborated Updates, VALUE Coaching, and Spiritual Reminder


spirituality (Photo credit: Loulair Harton)

Reminder: Faith, spirituality, love, wisdom – no matter what lies within you

I wanted to post something from my red book, my book of fire, a spiritual journal with all of the tenets I believe in, all of the wisdom that I’ve accrued over years, journeys, and hidden blessings. I searched high and low – went through all of my old journals, every piece of paper I own and it suddenly hit me. A couple months ago I got into a car accident and my dad told me he would clean out the car, but he never got around to it and I completely forgot – I never grabbed my red book. Words cannot explain how low my heart sank. That journal housed epiphanies, deep spiritual flow writings, self-love reminders, sketches of the “rock star” tattoo I’ve planned forever, core beliefs, clearly set intentions, maps of my heart – things that I hold most dearly. Gone.

This is all just to say I know; I know how hard it is to let go of things. This was a reminder that even something that I put so much of my heart and soul into is just another passing thing. The love and intention that I poured into that journal made it special, but the journal itself is of this world and the love and intention will still remain.

Alas, I will not be posting anything from that book, but I have full intention on beginning a new one and instead I’m going to do what I said I would a couple of posts back and let you know what I’ve been up to:

First, I was sick for about a week and it sucked. I don’t care to relive that part of my November so I’ll just leave it at that.

Now onto the good stuff! I have been writing, just not in blog form. During my jobless adventures I spent a good bit of my time furiously typing out a book/program/manifesto and it’s evolved into something more than I originally thought it would be. It started as a mini-book that would be self-published or e-published on vulnerability. I realized two pages in that I couldn’t fully explain vulnerability or expect to teach someone to be vulnerable without the other pieces to the puzzle.

Vulnerability is closely tied to other concepts that I came to realize a lot of people in my life had blocks around. They couldn’t get to vulnerability because they couldn’t accept their authentic truth or realize that they had one. They couldn’t be their authentic self because they didn’t love who they were, they didn’t perceive themselves and the world with love. They couldn’t love themselves because they couldn’t embrace their own shadows as essential to their being a whole person. They couldn’t embrace their shadows because they couldn’t let go of anything (especially control). So VALUE coaching was birthed into the world; VALUE – Vulnerability Authenticity Love Unshackling Embracing Shadows. I’ve been plying away at this and a free mini e-book (yay free!).

Add More ~ing to Your Life was a spiritual catalyst for me and the author Gabby Bernstein often speaks of the metaphysical text she studied, A Course In Miracles, and I have been called to follow in her foot steps and study the same. This pursuit has also brought me to study speed reading. Working my way up to 600 wpm! You know, slowly but surely.

I will do my very best to deliver content more frequently and in the meantime, forgive me for being a naughty blogger!

With love and celebration,